Over the years, experts have been trying to work out the key to a close relationship and it could just be that this secret is vulnerability. When we ‘connect’ with other people, we are essentially allowing our minds and hearts to join forces through a mutual bond whether it is sense of humor, sport, art, etc. Now, we are starting to realize that it may impossible to connect with others without vulnerability.
The problem? Over time, we have convinced ourselves that we need to be strong individuals, alone, and tough enough to stop getting hurt. In essence, we have removed all vulnerability which means that we are shielding ourselves from love and connection. With vulnerability, we are really saying ‘here I am with all my flaws, secrets, and fears’. Since we are quickly removing all vulnerability, we aren’t connecting with others on a deep enough level which means that these relationships have no chance of survival when the going gets tough.
With any relationship, one of the most important factors is trust. Whether it is a friendship, romantic relationship, or even a familial relationship, trust is the factor that underpins everything. When someone opens up and shows weakness, the other party can say ‘It’s fine, I am with you every step of the way’ but this isn’t happening anymore. Sadly, most relationships are doomed from the very beginning.
Solution – So you may be wondering ‘well, how do I live with vulnerability?’ and this is a good question. To start, you need to live with heart which means be open and honest with everyone. When you love openly, you will know when something is missing which means that you can take action to fill this void. If you couple this with courage, there is no way you can go wrong.
When in a relationship, this means following your passion, telling them you love them, expecting more from yourself and them, and more. However, it also means that you have no fear of being alone when a relationship isn’t working. Let’s be clear, vulnerability isn’t naivety and it also isn’t sharing every detail of your life with someone. Instead, it means knowing when to open up and trust someone who is worth the risk. Just like trust, vulnerability is earned so you need to be ready to offer it as soon as it is necessary.
Instead of living in fear and closing the door, allow yourself to be vulnerable and love with courage. This way, your relationships have a better chance of success and you can Live Life Fully!
