The topic of dating has come up many times over the last couple of months with clients and friends so I thought maybe we should discuss it. When it comes to the dating world, we have seen some huge changes over the years and most of this has been a result of the improving technology. Where we would once go to bars or singles events, we now visit apps on our phone. Currently, we decide on the capability of our next mate within seconds and just one picture. However, there are some questions that have remained the same including ‘can we or should we date multiple people at the same time?’.
In short, yes. Before you click away in frustration, allow me to explain. Ultimately, it all comes down to the definition of the term ‘date’ and this is where some people get confused. By ‘date’, I mean the early exchanges of meeting people and getting to know whether they are a good fit. Once you have decided to give it a go with somebody, I don’t support dating others because you have made the commitment to get to know this one person.
On the flip side, it is perfectly fine to meet a few different people before deciding where your attention should go. On this planet, there are seven billion people so surely we would be naive in thinking that the first person we meet is going to be ‘the one’? With everybody offering a slightly different personality and sense of humor, we should be meeting different people before settling down with the one we connect with the most.
In recent years, there has been a rushed feeling towards dating and this has led to the highest divorce rates we have ever seen. Although they have dipped in the last couple of years, it still stands at 40%-50% of marriages and this is nothing short of shocking. Essentially, we are saying that marriages now have a 50-50 chance of survival. Why? Perhaps this is because we are rushing into relationships with the wrong people without having a chance to meet others?
With marriage, this is a lifelong promise to be by one another’s side through the good times and the bad. When we rush into relationships and get married quickly, how are we possibly supposed to know whether these are the people with which we want to spend the rest of our lives? As long as we use the word ‘date’ in the right context, there is nothing wrong with meeting numerous people because this gives us the best chance of finding those with a similar mindset, sense of humor, personality, and more. If we give ourselves this opportunity, we might just Live Life Fully!
