Are you a people pleaser? When somebody asks you to do something, do you immediately say ‘yes’ before they have even finished the sentence? If so, you aren’t alone but we are going to address this today because it can be an unhealthy habit. Of course, we aren’t saying that you should constantly say no to your boss because this could get you fired. However, the odd no when you already have enough work can be fantastic for you – but we are getting ahead of ourselves!
Before we head any further, we should explain why being a ‘yes person’ is bad news. Ultimately, the biggest problem with this habit is that there is always something being sacrificed for each new task you take on. For the most part, this will be your free time, right? ‘Can you pick up my clothes from the store?’ and ‘can you complete the ‘x’ account’ are both statements that come at a cost because you will need to forgo something else.
With people who cannot say no, they carry the whole weight of the world on their shoulders and people just assume that everything is well. As they experience more and more stress, the same people come back again and request a new task without knowing because they always get a ‘yes’ in reply. If you can relate to this, we understand your fear – normally this is a fear of being disliked or not trusted any longer – but you need to learn the skill of saying no because you will benefit.
When you say ‘no’, you start to respect your limitations and accept the fact that you deserve some time to yourself. If you have too much at work and you don’t think you can put your all into a new task, a ‘no’ will tell your manager, friends, or family that you have too much already and they should respect your honesty. As long as you aren’t just using the magic word to be lazy, you will become more confident and your time will be more valuable to you and everyone else.
Advice – At this point, you might be wondering how you can get started so we have compiled some tips below;
- Learn to give simple responses to questions; instead of starting with thanks and talking yourself into the job, be strong and offer a reason why you cannot help.
- If you aren’t sure, say that you will get back to them and then you can say ‘no’ with assurance and confidence having assessed your schedule.
- Understand that you are simply rejecting one request, not the person entirely. Just as they have a right to ask the favor, you have a right to refuse.
- Finally, get to know yourself and what you want.
Once you can do the above, you will have more control, people won’t abuse your kindness, and you can Live Life Fully!
