For many years, being afraid of commitment was always thought to have been predominantly a male problem but we are now starting to see the reality. In truth, both men and women can be afraid of commitment and whilst it isn’t a problem growing up, it starts to become a serious problem if we cannot settle down with the people that love us. If you are unsure whether you fall into this category or simply want some tips, keep reading.
In simple terms, the fear of commitment describes the worry of entering a long-term relationship. Many people can be in a relationship but as soon as somebody mentions long-term, marriage, or the prospect of moving in together, they simply laugh and shudder at the same time. If you are currently in a long-term relationship, the easiest way to tell if you have this fear is to note how you feel when thinking about the future. For example, do you feel excited when people mention marriage between you and your partner? If you’re reading this, it is likely that you feel scared or annoyed instead.
Key Excuses
When it comes down to it, there are a number of excuses we give that suggest that we are afraid of commitment. Normally, the main two are because you are ‘one person and don’t need to rely on anyone else’ and the other is a fear of the relationship coming to an end. The latter is a big hurdle to overcome because a common line of thinking is ‘if it isn’t broken, don’t fix it’ which means, if we get along just fine then why would we consider getting married? Other signs of this fear include; losing sexual variety, still have things to achieve, have plans that need to be fulfilled, bad memories or experiences, and fear of not being with ‘the one’.
Solution
When we realize that we are scared of commitment, the first thing we do is enter a state of denial and simply laugh off any suggestions from other people. However, this is one of the worst things you can do because you aren’t allowing yourself the opportunity to overcome the fear. Instead, you should be discussing the issue with your partner. Although this may sound crazy at first, there is no way you will ever combat this fear if you keep it hidden; you need to explain your worries to your partner and begin to work through them.
Once you have accepted the fact and talked it though with your partner, you can then begin to find solutions. Perhaps your partner can ease your fears or offer you ways to continue with your plan, remove your bad memories, help you to achieve your goals, and overall, prove that they are ‘the one’. Being afraid of commitment is very common but in truth, the solution is simple if you just communicate with those around you!
