Recently a client shared this picture with me and it inspired me to write a brief post. So what is normal? According to the dictionary, normal is “usual or ordinary: not strange”. But who defines usual, ordinary or not strange? This is often where trouble begins… The way I define normal may be VERY different than the way you define normal.
So let’s look at an example. . You are beginning a new relationship. What is the normal amount of time you should spend with this person and how often should you communicate with him or her? One person may find it normal to meet once a week and to communicate by phone a couple times a week. While another person may think it is normal to see the person at least three times a week and have a conversation every day. So who is actually normal? The answer is… they are both normal. How can this be?
The reason is because everyone sets their own normal. Trouble occurs when we neglect to discuss and to understand the other person’s normal. When there is no communication, we often wait for the satisfaction of our expectation. Meanwhile, the other person has no clue that we are having an issue with our differences in communication. Understanding another person’s normal is critical to success in a friendship, colleague or intimate relationship.
Bottom line, normal can only be understood with communication! Many people struggle with expressing their wants and desires and the realization that they actually are normal. Do you need help finding or communicating your normal? Core Energetics can help!
