Despite being the only thing that is certain in life, death is still something that we all fear in ourselves as well as those around us. Therefore, we tend to have a habit of squashing grief when it comes around after someone we love dies. Unfortunately, many people each year tell themselves that they don’t need to grieve but this just leads to raw emotion building underneath the surface until it eventually explodes weeks, months, or maybe even years into the future.
Over the past week, I have received many phone calls about friends and family members who have died or are on their death bed. I saw a photo of a very dear man in the hospital. This man, this friend, has taught many lessons over the past 10 years even from a distance. As I sat and looked at the photo on my phone, I could feel tears welling up and I was resistant to let them out. Then I had to remind myself that having my feelings and grief are ok and a healthy process. So here are some reminder…
Use Your Feelings – Although it might not seem possible, there are healthy ways to grieve and the first way of doing this is to acknowledge your feelings. Rather than burying how you feel, talk to yourself and open up. Whether it is sadness, fear, pain, anger, or any other emotion, let it flow without judgement. By doing this, you are admitting how you feel to yourself which will allow you to take the correct steps moving forward.
Connect – Often, families will separate after a loved one passes away but this is actually the perfect time to use each other and pull together as a unit. Whenever possible, talk to each other, listen to what you are feeling, and maybe even cry together. Once you learn to do this, your bond will grow and you can use these relationships every day.
Take Time – With grief, it is a feeling that affects us all in completely different ways. While some people deal with their feelings and can move forward quickly, others find that it takes a long time before the emotions start to show and this is absolutely fine. Since we are all unique individuals, you need to listen to yourself without forcing grief to happen. Once you begin to have your feeling there is no predefined time in which you must wrap it all up. Give yourself the time you need.
Seek Help – If you have reasons not to engage with family and friends, why not seek the help of someone who is completely impartial and doesn’t know you or the deceased? Strangely enough, just talking through the situation can allow you to see things a little clearer. If you can’t talk to someone, at least write them down and allow your mind to be free.
Be Healthy – Finally, many people stop looking after themselves after losing someone so promise yourself that you will keep eating well and exercise wherever possible. Not only will this keep your body in good shape, it will keep your mind healthy which is vital to Live Life Fully.
